Rejection

Some of life's most painful rejection comes from childhood experiences. Rejection suffered in the early years often sets the tone for a person's entire life. Whenever a significant other - a parent, grandparent, or someone we hold in esteem - rejects us, feelings of being unloved, unworthy, useless, or insignificant can arise. God never intended for us to struggle with feelings of low self-esteem or rejection. Instead, He wants us to understand that we have value and worth, not because of who we are but because of who we contain - the Lord Jesus Christ.

Learning the correct way to respond to rejection is essential if we are to experience the joy and peace of Jesus Christ.

In Genesis, God said: "… Let Us make man in Our image …" (Genesis 1:26). A basic truth in handling rejection is that we are made in the image of God. Nothing can separate us from His love and care.

People struggling with feelings of deep rejection find it hard to imagine how Jesus can love them so easily. But our worth is not based on a human scale. It is based on God's unconditional love.

When you accept His Son's death on the cross as payment for your sins (John 3:16), you become a child of God. You are grafted into His family, and your life has an eternal worth. (Romans 11:17) There is nothing you can do to become more worthy. And there is nothing anyone can say about you that will cancel God's love for you.

If you have never received Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, then you are missing the freedom and joy that comes from being unconditionally loved by Him. He loves you so much that He died for you and paid the one-time price for all your sins - past, present, and future. His acceptance, love, and forgiveness of you are eternal. He may not always approve of your behavior, but He will never reject your personhood.

What would it feel like to be unconditionally loved by God? Write your thoughts in the space below.

If you have never asked Christ to come into your heart, He is available now and offers His unconditional love as proof of His care for you. If you would like to accept Christ into your life, pray the following prayer. Imagine Jesus looking over every area of your life - all the sin, all the pain, and all the brokenness - and telling you that He accepts you and loves you just the way you are.

: Lord Jesus, I confess that I am a sinner. I want to thank you for loving me so much that You paid the price for my sins on Calvary's cross. I lay my life down before You and ask that You would come into my heart and make me complete in You. I accept your forgiveness as atonement for my sins. Thank You that I am given new life through You. From this day forward, teach me to follow only You.

Now you can rejoice in knowing you are a child of God. No one has more worth or value than God's children. Write your name and date in the following blank. It is a seal of your confession of Christ as your Savior.

The following Scriptures provide exciting insights for new believers. Look up each one, write them out on a small 3 x 5 card, and learn to claim God's promises daily as you begin your spiritual walk with Him. If you are a Christian, review them as well. They are reminders of how great a salvation you have through faith in Christ.

Romans 6:23
Ephesians 2:8-9
John 3:16
Romans 5:1
Titus 3:5
1 Peter 3:18

Effects Of Rejection
Unfortunately, we cannot shield ourselves from rejection. Rejection is only destructive when we internalize it and allow it to creep into your belief system. Satan loves to fuel the fires of low self-esteem with intermittent forms of rejection - a boss you can never please, a parent who only praises straight A's on the report card, or a friend who ignores you at a party.

We cannot avoid rejection because we cannot control the way people feel about us. Some will like us automatically; others may reject us without reason. When we fail to accept ourselves, rejection has an open door to our emotions.

The results are disastrous: a sense of unworthiness; a lack of self-acceptance; and an inability to build healthy relationships. We feel unworthy and likewise think others view us as being unworthy. If left unchecked, rejection will control our attitudes, actions, and even our relationship with God.

List several of the ways you have suffered rejection in the past as well as the present.

How has rejection changed your attitude toward the people who have hurt you?

Lesson 5: How To Handle Rejection

List the ways that you have rejected others.

Manipulation and a desire to control others are key instruments of a person who feels rejected. They punish, gain recognition and relationship leverage through the use of rejection. Many times when a person rejects you, they want you to perform a certain way. By using rejection, they manipulate you until your actions line up with their desires.

The only way to combat rejection is to gain a strong understanding of your position in Jesus Christ. Your worth and personhood are not determined by those around you. Anytime you base your self-worth on what other people say about you, you set yourself up for possible rejection. Let's learn what God says about you and your position in His family.

In his first epistle, Peter writes to a group of believers struggling with persecution and deep rejection. Trying to instill a sense of hope in those who will read his letter, Peter tells them of their value in the kingdom of God:

You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."
1 Peter 2:9-10

Based on 1 Peter 2:10 write down your value in Christ.

Now list all the descriptive words that Peter uses to describe your personhood as a member of God's family.

Different Faces Of Rejection

The following list is characteristics of a person struggling with feelings of rejection. Rejection is a result of basic human needs not being met. For example, each of us has the basic need to be accepted. As you read through the following list, ask God to show you any traits that may dominate your life.

Causes for rejection are diverse. A thoughtless, seemingly harmless word spoken by a parent can be perceived by a child in such a way that he experiences a lifetime of rejection. Obvious forms of rejection include mental, physical, and sexual.

Divorce is a leading cause of rejection. Many divorced people find it difficult to begin life over after divorce. They struggle with feelings of failure and low self-esteem. A death or abandonment of a parent also leads to feelings of rejection. Guilt of past sins and the criticism of others are avenues of rejection.

Feelings of resentfulness and bitterness from a lack of forgiveness only feed a poor self-image. Ask God to show you the people you need to forgive. They may have hurt you deeply; but by forgiving them, you are freeing yourself to receive God's forgiveness and restoration in your own life. The following prayer will help you extend forgiveness as you bring that person's name to God in prayer.

Dealing successfully with rejection requires honesty and a willingness to get to the root of the problem which is a poor view of our self-worth. We can never base our worth as a person on the opinion of others. If we do, we are sure to suffer disappointment and rejection.

Only God can meet all your needs. He is your sufficiency in every situation. You belong to God through your relationship with Jesus Christ. You hold a valued place in the family of God that no one else can occupy. (John 1:12; Romans 8:14-15)

Jesus knew that after His death there would be long, dark moments of confusion and persecution for His disciples. Therefore, He prepared a way for them to sense His presence forever. They never had to lose their sense of belonging because He sent another comforter to them in the Person of the Holy Spirit.

The word comforter in the New Testament means to come along side another, to offer aid, to be a defense and an advocate. Jesus was this to His disciples. He left them and us with the eternal gift of the Holy Spirit that we might know we are never alone. (John 14:16; 14:26; 15:26)

God has personally chosen you. (John 15:16) Your name is etched in the palms of His hands. (Isaiah 49:16) He promises to be your strength (2 Timothy 4:17; Philippians 4:13), your sufficiency (2 Corinthians 12:9, and your redeemer. (Isaiah 54:5)

We are capable to work, live, and enjoy life because of the power that is ours in Jesus Christ. The next time rejection comes -

Jesus Christ suffered the ultimate form of rejection. He was jeered, spat on, threatened, and finally put to death. His entire life was a sacrificial offering of forgiveness, acceptance, and unconditional love. Yet everywhere He went, He faced rejection. But man's view of Him never altered His focus. It could never damage what He knew to be true: He was eternally one with the heavenly Father, and He knew He was eternally loved. Victory over the world's rejection was His. He did not need the world's approval because He already had the Father's.

You, too, are one with God. (1 Corinthians 6:17) The victory is yours the minute you apply the truths of God's Word to your life. You don't need the approval of the world or its favor. All you will ever need has been provided for you through Jesus Christ. You can rest in His sufficiency and be content in knowing that His grace is forever yours.

God may not approve of all your behavior. As you grow in Him, He will change and sand away the rough areas of your life. But He will never reject you as a person. When you come to Him, you never come alone. Jesus Christ is your advocate (Hebrews 7:25), and you always can be confident of His love and acceptance.